Secondhand Nation

Reader Requests: Spring Fever Edition

It's hitting 30 degrees here in Minnesota.  Which means I'm infected with spring fever and am fitting to burn all my wretched foul weather gear in a witches' pyre on my front lawn. 

A couple of requests, though.  Send me an email or leave a comment about any of the following:

Seed Starters!  I'm extremely interested in hearing from people who are starting seeds indoors.  What's your process and methods?  What kinds of plants do you start indoors?  What equipment do you use, if any?  And what have been the results?

Home Yogurt Makers!  Bring it!  Which model do you use?  Do you use an appliance or a different set of equipment?  Any recipes you'd like to share?

Thrifters!  What's the best thing you've ever bought secondhand? Send me the story of the item and photos if you've got them.

Thanks in advance!

Push It Real Good

Perennial cool-nerds at MAKE zine recently showcased some bitchin' push mowers converted into bicycles.

   

Figure 1:  A fuckload better than my broke-dick lawn mower. 

I like this idea a lot, as I'm in a hate-loathe relationship with my lawn mower, which is currently broken and is chronically running out of gas.

My Husband swears I'd hate using a push mower, but I'm guessing that being able to get one's damn lawn mowed in some kind of timely manner beats the hell out of waiting for it grow up over the goddamn windows.  And did I mention our Elderly Neighbors?  Who will be getting up on the day of the Apocolypse to water before 6 am and will surely continue mowing until the Four Horsemen arrive on the scene to personally strike them down with plague, famine, all-you-can-eat tuna hotdish and whatever other promised horrors not mentioned by Revelations.

How does one get to be one of the Four Horsemen?  I'm thinking I might apply.

Figure 2: Are you currently hiring or just keeping applications on file?   

Can you tell I'm in a mood?  It's Christly October and I'm still incensed over the dumbassed lawn.

I hate mowing it.  I wish it would convert into a prairie.  Where's the Amazing Mumford when you need him?  "A la peanut butter sandwiches!" and poof! A prairie!  I'd rather pay fines for having an unkempt free-for-all than a bunch of 10 foot, thick-ass DECORATION that needs maintenance.

   

Figure 3:  Person more likely to fix my lawn mower sooner than my Husband.   

Hmpht.  I'm going to eat more raw cookie dough now.  Don't try to follow me, either.   

Front Yard Gardens: A Stealthy Approach

Ellen Simon's article on Front-Yard Gardens gives anyone who's ever considered moving their vegetable patch front-and-center a view of how it might be received.

I know our foray into the front yard went quite nicely, but that perhaps was because we started small. 

I created a flower bed surrounded by paver stones and then the Husband stealthily went behind that and set up some bamboos vineposts and three tomato plants.  Nicely disguised!

(Short Aside:  Is my lawn dry enough?   Do I care?   What's the difference?  I'm too lazy to water it, so I chalk it up to being eco-sensitive.  Good tactic.) 

Also unnoticed by my neighbors is my daughter's bean plant that I added amidst the riot of flowers in the same garden bed.  Meant to be her first garden, the entire plot featured annuals she picked out herself, with a few additions from me and the bean seedling she grew in a baby food jar at preschool.  I know - you're dying of the preciousness of it all.

I also am growing garlic chives, rosemary and thyme right under my neighbor's noses and nobody seems to mind.  I think the best approach to moving a comestible garden to the front lawn is to go slowly and intersperse the food plants with the ornamentals.   The whole boiled frog principle.  By the time they notice you've got an entire grape arbor/rice paddy in your yard, the neighbors will have moved out or retired anyway.   

Unusual Potting Benches

Check out SimplyGreen's take on the impromptu potting bench!

I'm no longer a voice in the wilderness for eschewing ready-made potting benches!

(P.S. I spotted another kitchen cabinet in someone's trash stash a few nights ago and had the husband spirit it away.  I might set it up to its companion or let Adrian put it in his garage lair.  More later.)

Jolie-Laide Gardening

Now that I've made composting sexy, I will now be Frenchifying my garden.  Let me explain.

Since I was inspired by H.C. Flores book, Food Not Lawns, the de-lawnification has officially begun.  That's right -- my lawn is getting the axe. (And it's not the only one:  check out what's going down in some lawns in drought-stricken California.)

My delawnification involves a slow, insidious creep that will soon take over the grass.  That slippery-slope argument people always bring up when talking about gay marriage?  That's what I'm doing - marrying my dog, marrying six other people - except in my lawn!  Get it?    Before my lawn knows it, the definition of LAWN will be completely changed!  Or not there!  Whatever!  On to the French part!

This exclusive method I invented is called Jolie-Laide Gardening.

Jolie-Laide is a French term which means beautiful-ugly. It's the concept behind why people find Sarah Jessice Parker attractive or women with mustaches or spaces between their teeth get all the men.  It's a great concept that gives unusual-looking women everywhere a shred of hope.  But it can also work in home garden applications.

Check out how cinchy it is!  You just take big hunks of nature and dump them where you think they would be better off.  It looks ugly, but it's growing and full of life and doesn't need mowing - that's why it's beautiful!

Lilac prunings get dumped by the side of the garage!  Wall-Ah!  No more stupid edge trimming!

Entire swath of creeping charlie ripped up in fit of obsessive weeding!  Cedar mulch dumped on the scene in pleasing, asymetical pattern!  Sage, yarrow and Vietnamese coriander replanted in a new, sunnier home!  Take that, boring monoculture!

Flower garden overgrown and spilling out over grass!  Rip back the edgers, dump in a pile a new dirt and pretend like you planned it that way!  (Tip over lawn furniture to make everything look extra raucous!)

 

The bottom line for Jolie-Laide Gardening is that, even if you lack gardening skill or spatial orientation, it's okay.  Growing things cannot be unattractive, by their very nature.  Though lawn purists and horticulturists might scoff at my willy-nilly placement, I believe that reusing mulch is better than trashing it.  Ripping up creeping charlie to grow lovely herbs does a whole lot more than pesticides and constant bitching.   Nature loves diversity. If only humans did, too. 

Composting Makes You Sexy!

Composting sounds really boring, I know. So I am on a crusade to sexify it, since the tee vee tells me that sex sells.  I mean, how else do you explain the enduring success of David Hasselhoff? 

I decided that my compost bin needed a porn name.  So I rechristened her Backyard Betty. Oooh, sexxxxy! 

Backyard Betty, that sultry, curvy siren lurking behind the lilac bushes, a libidinous, voracious gal who hungers for rubbish!  I should sew her a bodice so she can tug at it while she shakes her lock-flap top at my neighbor Brandon's compost bin.  Brandon's bin is square - that's how you know it's a boy - and sits unblinking right next to several stalks of sweet corn and I don't know his name.  But whatever he's called, I'm sure he never misses Sunday services and parts his hair till it squeaks.  LOSER!

So with duds for prospects, I looked for some other stuff Backyard Betty could toss and turn with while waiting for me to occasionally spray her with the hose. 

Shockingly, I made the scandalous discovery that dryer lint and vacuum cleaner bag contents are no longer recommended for composting.  Naughty!  Clothing with synthetic content creates lint that is not readily biodegradable and the same is true for vacuum cleaners used on synthetic carpets.   Another reason to line-dry and hate carpet! 

Okay, I don't hate carpet.  Carpet is fine! Except for sculptured carpet.  Sculptured carpet can piss off. 

Back to the sex.  Compost = Sex.  Boobies!  Butts!  Sex!  SEX SEX SEX!

Ever wonder what those all those bugs are doing in all that moist, juicy yard waste? Well, they're having lots of ooshy, gooshy SEX!   No, really!  After they eat all the grody bacteria and things break down into gases and um, other stuff happens, they probably lay some eggs or scatter their milt or something.  I assure you, what's going down under that lid is HOTTTT!

So, now that you've been assured that maintaining a hot, sexy compost bin is the only way you'll find happiness and contentment in life, go put on your terry cloth tube top or your Speedo (or both) and check out this nicely color-coded list of other things besides yard waste and kitchen scraps that you can compost.  ROWRRRRR!   

Shredded Newspaper (brown)

Shredded Cardboard (brown)

Sawdust from untreated wood (brown)

Ashes from untreated wood fires (brown)

Woodchip litter from pet rodents (brown)

Human and dog hair (brown)

Aquarium water and algae from freshwater fish tanks (green)

Coffee grounds (including filter) and used tea bags (green)

Leftover bottles of beer from parties (green)

NSFW triple XXX hotttt! composting sources: 

http://www.composting101.com/composting-tips.html

http://www.garden.org/subchannels/care/soil?q=show&id=1357

http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/gr_soil_water/article/0,2029,DIY_13858_4603994,00.html

http://www.organicgardening.com/feature/0,7518,s1-2-21-895,00.html

http://www.marquisproject.com/composting101/howcomp.html

http://greenthumbgoodies.com/Composting/composting_101.htm

http://www.organicgardening.com/feature/0,7518,s1-3-79-829,00.html

http://www.reducerubbish.govt.nz/compost/composting-101.html

http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/gl_soil_water_mulch/article/0,,HGTV_3634_1399002,00.html

Reminder for Locals: Plant Pot Recycling This Weekend

I know I just mentioned plastic plant pot recycling, but if you live in Minnesota and want to clear out your stash of plastic pots, my local rag  gives a quick mention here.

There are dropsites across the Twin Cities Metro area - click this link for addresses - and head out this weekend, June 23 and 24, Saturday and Sunday, between 9 am and 3 pm.

Pots of all colors will be accepted;  hanging planters should have the hanging cords removed. 

The pots will be ground up into tiny bits and used in recycled landscaping lumber and other kinds of crazy items. 

You know, I don't care if they make toilet bowls or King James Bibles out of them - just keep them out of the landfill!

The Dark Side of Green: Recycling Plastic Planter Pots

This recent article from the Chicago Tribune makes an unsettling point:  in creating the lush, boutiful landscapes around our own homes, we're producing a shit-ton of non-recyclable waste.

The culprit isn't you and your fertile intentions.  It's the damn plastic pots and flats that come with those greenhouse purchases and the plastic bags of soil and mulch:  most are made of non-recyclable plastic and end up in the land-fill.

I'm guilty of this, too.  My own potting bench is full of small flats and cups that I can't bring myself to toss - the Angel of my Better Nature - ABN - keeps insisting I'll use them for seed starters next year - and while I've meant to return the plastic flat bins used to cart the plants home with, I've usually tossed them, too.  (If your ABN also tells you this, go here to find out how to clean out the plastic pots safely.) 

What to do?

In Minnesota, where I live, there's a movement to recycle plant pots.  Go here for more information about where and when to drop them off.  They cannot take cell packs at this time, but other plant pots, of any size or color, are welcome. 

For those out of state, try googling the exact phrase "plastic garden pot recycling" -- tons of options pop up.

What else to do?  Some people I know crumple up or tear the cell packs into smaller bits as filler for larger pots.  (Though purists might take offense to using petroleum-derived products near plants!)  Other people avoid bringing home the plastic flat by bringing a cardboard box when they shop for green goodies - my ABN is always harping at me about that, too.

Another simple way to reduce this waste is to buy more perennials vs. annuals, which require fewer trips to the store and less work.

(Long Rambling Aside:  Personally, I hate annuals.  Yeah, they're pretty and all, but whatta pain in the ass!  Every year, replanting, sucking up the water, dumping out the pots, clearing out the garden!  All when I could be doing crosswords or reading books?  It's total bullshit!  I'll admit that I don't like to garden for the sake of squatting down and getting all dirty and sweaty.  Weeding, dithering around in the yard - no thanks.  No, I like to garden for the sake of getting good food or herbs or creating habitat for bees and other critters and absorbing heat from the city and preventing water run-off to my basement or the sewer.  If I want to hang out in the yard, I'll hang some laundry or park it in a lawnchair.  Putting up hanging baskets of petunias each year?  Please. It just sounds like more decorating and I can barely get the interior of my home to look the way I'd like.  Hence, therefore, ergo, thus - annuals can suck it.) 

If you've got ideas about how to reuse that stream of plastic pots, send me an email or leave a comment!