Thrift Store Employee Burnout, Part I: Recognize the Signs
Figure 1: Reject clothing, sorted and baled, no doubt, by overworked and underappreciated thrift store employees.
Thrift Store Employee Burnout (TSEB) claims millions of underachieving lives every year.* It's a tragic cluster of symptoms that can cause individuals to engage in destructive behaviors like drinking head-achey pink wine or paying full retail prices. In a series of hard-hitting, shocking posts, we'll examine the scourge that is TSEB and offer steps to recognize it, combat it and ultimately, overcome it.
Signs You Have Thrift Store Employee Burnout (TSEB)
1. When you see bowls of potpourri set out as air freshener, you immediately sniff their contents.
2. You have bought or seriously contemplated buying food in a discount dollar store.
3. You can recite all the house brands of Wal-Mart (Ragged Glory, George, Metro 6) J.C. Penneys, (St. John's Bay, MixIt, Worthington) and Herbergers (Relativity, Studio Works).
4. You have made or tried to make a skirt out of unsold neckties.
5. Customers chomping on chicken wings while shopping or arguing with a sales clerk starts to seem like a brilliant way to multitask.
6. The first thing you think when you see an old friend is a) would I recycle her entire outfit for rag scrap? b) could I put that purse at $9.99 even if it is a clearly fake Gucci knockoff?
7. You dream about making garden furniture from broken cross country skis and bowling balls.
8. You can predict, just by looking at the person who donated a bag of items, whether it will contain a) fake flowers b) crappily-printed books about Jesus c) stained pillows embroidered with geese wearing sun bonnets d) a shaving cream warmer
9. You are intimately familiar with all of Ron Popeil's products and their relative marketability
10. You take Claritin every single day, even though you don't have allergies, and still sneeze every time you walk into work.
*Not actual "lives." "Lives" here refers to joie de vivre, personal satisfaction, ability to find meaning in work and life, et cetera.
Ha ha, that's sooo true! I volunteer at a recycle place and I can sooo predict what's in someone's donation bags and boxes based on how they look. And the sneezing, yeah, get that too.
Posted by: Geekware | 17 January 2008 at 10:01 PM
Geez...this sounds dire. I think we need to take you out more for lunch and fruitless window shopping at the MOA.
Posted by: Holly Keller | 18 January 2008 at 08:41 PM
Snap judgment is there for a reason.
(And I'm not going to MOA until I figger out where in the hell the LUSH store is. A pox on all their relentlessly ugly 80's wear.)
Posted by: Carrie | 21 January 2008 at 05:11 PM
Its Faded Glory, plus I'm pretty sure Worthington is a Sears brand...I'm afraid I'm burning out... Too...much...useless...information...regarding...low-end...retail...products...kill...me...Now.
Posted by: Braintree | 23 January 2008 at 08:40 AM
Faded Glory. Yes, you're right.
Ragged Glory is a Neil Young album.
You need help, sister!
Posted by: Carrie | 23 January 2008 at 04:05 PM
Where have you been? I miss your posts. Blog burn-out too?
H.
Posted by: Your friend, remember me? | 28 January 2008 at 12:07 PM
I'm working on something!
Posted by: Carrie | 28 January 2008 at 02:33 PM
I hope they let you take over greeting at the door, you'd definitely enhance any thrift shopping experience...
Posted by: Alexandra | 30 January 2008 at 02:43 PM
My days of front-of-the-house customer service are long over!
Posted by: Carrie | 30 January 2008 at 02:52 PM
It's been five years since I left "the life," but it all came flooding back when I read this post.
Posted by: Heather | 04 March 2008 at 08:29 PM
As I'm on the cusp of "breaking up" with the thrift store job AGAIN, I'm wondering how many of us are spoiled by the perks of getting good things are infinitesimal prices.
Also, the thrill of what might be in the next box? Hard to beat.
(Thanks for visiting my blog, by the way!)
Posted by: Carrie | 05 March 2008 at 10:29 AM
Okay, that was FUNNY. I can't stop laughing.
It was interesting to read about the Claritin b/c I've always wondered how people who work in thrift stores can handle the dust. Glad I found your blog!
Posted by: Paper Dolls for Boys | 03 April 2008 at 12:16 PM
It varies so much, depending on the donors. Being by the clothing table generally sets me off.
Of course, there's always the lovely box full of Reader's Digest Condensed Books and mouse turds. Ain't charity a beautiful thang?
Posted by: Secondhand Nation | 03 April 2008 at 02:57 PM
Very entertaining, especially number 6. i only worked in a thrift store for a very short time many years ago but I buy most of moy clothes and all my books from thrift stores.
Posted by: Crafty Green Poet | 23 April 2008 at 08:11 AM
Thanks!
Posted by: Secondhand Nation | 28 April 2008 at 09:41 AM
skirts made out of silk ties? Interesting! I work for an online necktie retailer, and we have had requests from customers to make blankets out of silk ties, but never a skirt.
Thanks for posting.
Posted by: Ties-necktie.com | 08 July 2008 at 02:43 PM
skirts made out of silk ties? Interesting! I work for an online necktie retailer, and we have had requests from customers to make blankets out of silk ties, but never a skirt.
Thanks for posting.
Posted by: Ties-necktie.com | 08 July 2008 at 02:43 PM
The necktie skirt was a big thing for punk rock girls, as I recall. I bet there's plenty of DIY patterns out there to be had.
Posted by: Carrie | 13 July 2008 at 09:32 PM